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I don’t understand why all this is happening to me, what did i do to deserve the pain i’m going through.. i don’t have a real family anymore everyone hates me, and my so called best friend is going to jail. Everything is my fualt why do i have to screw up everything, why does my family blame me for everything and make me feel like im absolutly worthless in this world. I don’t think i deserve to be here anymore im just a piece of shit. i have no goal in this stupid place they call life, I don’t even know what makes me happy anymore. The plus to all this, the cop that is helping me through this, is awesome, he made me feel more comfertable then anyone ever has. i feel like i can tell him everything now considering he knows my whole life story, he understands what i’m going through and is helping me get better. He purposley went looking for someone to pull over on my way home just cuz i said it would be awesome, he sang my favorite song with me, he let me sit in the front seat of the cop car even though i wasn’t actually aloud, he agread that my parents were crazy. The weird thing about all this is that he remembers me from 3 years ago when he arrested my dad. he said his first priority is tommorrow is arresting the stupid person that did this to me, even though he probably has a hundreds of other people to help, hes helping me first and that makes me feel better then i have for the longest time, like someone actually cares about me or is trying to care about me. Moral of the story, I bet you cant say you sang with a cop in his car lol. Well my rant is done, sweet dreams <3

I’m done compromising with you, you fucking faggot. I don’t want you to decide when and when i can’t go live my life, i may sound selfish but why am i always the one stuck crying and fucking up my life just becuase you can’t deal with your problems on your own. If you weren’t here I wouldn’t be stuck with nowhere to go in life. It may have been my own decision to experiment with shit but if you didn’t make me so fucking depressed all the time i wouldn’t continue going back to it. I’m soooo ready to be done with living.

I feel like I haven’t seen you in decades. My heart is still broken, and I have yet to find relief from the pain of loss. I almost wish that I could rewind time… Pfft, almost.. Who am I kidding?.. I know that I’d go back in time and change everything that was in my power, so things today could be better. I wish that I could feel one of your warm embraces, whenever I’m feeling lost, or as though I’m too small for the giant world around me. If I knew how to, and that I could, I would tell you how much you truly meant to me, I would not hesitate to tell you every day for an eternity. Nothing will ever fill your spot in my heart. I love you. I miss you. I wish I could be with you now.